bash, etc.

#87759 <hawkman> my friend had a huge bloody nose in 11th grade, and he just shoved toilet paper up his nose until it stopped. then my friend grabbed a coat hanger out of his car (i’m not really sure why he had one), then we went into the girls bathroom and spread blood _ALL_ over one of the stalls, left the coat hanger there, and put up a sign that said „please dont flush my baby“

– Not even women understand other women – otherwise we wouldn’t have catfights.


#105634 <hermione-> I’m not a common street hooker! I am a self employed roadside massage therapist

#623457 <predation> so I’m at work and this kid rings the bell on the counter RIGHT behind me
<predation> the kid goes „SORRY“ when I turn around
<predation> kid’s mom goes „sorry isn’t an excuse when you do something stupid on purpose“
<predation> i’m putting it on a t-shirt

#734413 <ShaggyShaggs> heh, my grandmother amused me earlier
<ShaggyShaggs> I got up, got dressed, took a leak, washed my face, got out of the bathroom and mom’s there holding the phone telling me it’s for me
<ShaggyShaggs> I grab the phone and mutter „Is this more important than coffee?“
<ShaggyShaggs> and my grandmother says „Nothing is more important than coffee, call me back later“

– Only disturb me when your concern is more important than coffee.

#610089 <Vehementi> girlfriend-crafted brownies are the best
<BauB_> girlfriend crafted blowjobs are better
<Vvivix> those arnt really crafted though
<Vvivix> its more of a buff
<Vvivix> with a long cast time
<Hyper_Monkey20> Actaully, it’s more of a debuff… It leaves you tranced and unable to go into combat.

#304 <zaney> i sued to be smart but then my father, he fond out i wsa gay so eh ebaten me very baddly on the haad

#10025 <a_passerby> I want a :D drive instead of a D: drive

#98332 <KJ> I was in a shop in Britain, when an American tourist in front of me tried to pay for something in US dollars. The shop keeper politely told her that this was Britain, and you can’t use U.S. dollars here. The lady replied… „But I had no problems in other third world countries“

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